運命
jerkpattillo:

ungratefullittleshit:

i’m feeling sick

no no no no

jerkpattillo:

ungratefullittleshit:

i’m feeling sick

no no no no

Filth | 2013 | Directed by Jon S. Biard | Starring James McAvoy

Am I the only who thought it was really cute how Haru carried his ladle all the up the stairs? Cause it was fucking adorable.

me when i eat fruits: i'm so fucking healthy
yanapieceofme:

Me when I’m forced to go anywhere.

yanapieceofme:

Me when I’m forced to go anywhere.

narutoxfashion:

Kakashi Hatake in Givenchy by Riccardo Tisci spring-summer 2013

narutoxfashion:

Kakashi Hatake in Givenchy by Riccardo Tisci spring-summer 2013

simplysailormoon:

fuzzyfurballs:

Baby Nala plying with a ribbon

Leaked Sailor Moon transformation sequence

gabbigolightly:

Makeover Madness, Vogue Italia, 2005 by Steven Meisel

gabbigolightly:

Makeover Madness, Vogue Italia, 2005 by Steven Meisel

Black No 1 (little Miss Scare-all)-

TYPE O NEGATIVE

She’s in love with herself, she likes the dark
An’ on her milk white neck, the Devil’s mark
Now it’s all Hallows Eve, the moon is full
Oh, will she trick or treat, I bet she will

She’s got a date at midnight with Nosferatu
Oh baby, Lilly Munster ain’t got nothin’ on you
Well when I called her evil, she just laughed
Well cast that spell on me, boo bitch craft

Yeah, you wanna go out
'Cause it's raining and blowing
You can’t go out ‘cause your roots are showing
Dye ‘em black, oh dye ‘em black

Black black black black no.1
She dyes it black black black black no.1

Lovin’ you, lovin’ you, love love, lovin’ you
Was like lovin’ the dead, it was like lovin’ the dead

Lovin’ you was like lovin’ the dead
Lovin’ you was like lovin’ the dead
Lovin’ you was like lovin’ the dead

Was like lovin’ the dead
Was like lovin’ the dead
Was like lovin’ the dead
Was like lovin’ the dead

Black black black black no.1
She dyes it black black black black no.1

Black black black black no.1
Black black black black no.1

Black black black black no.1
Black black black black no 1

One: Buy condoms. Buy them and keep them with you at all times, and use them before you are asked to use them. And use them every time. The peace of mind you allow your partner will free her to be vulnerable with you, and that, my son, is exactly what sex is about. Condoms are sexy. In fact, call buying condoms foreplay.
(Footnote: If you are too embarrassed to buy condoms, you are not ready to have sex.)

Two: Kissing is not merely foreplay. Spend entire evenings making out on the couch while fully clothed. Believe me, dry-humping rocks.

Three: Sex is not just about friction. It’s about emotion. Stop trying to find her clitoris and find her heart. Because then she’ll help you find her clitoris.

Four: If you really wanna know how to please a woman, ask her how she masturbates. Then do that. A lot. If she claims she doesn’t masturbate, offer to take her shopping for a vibrator so you can both learn the vocabulary of her body together.

Five: Don’t put anything in her butthole you wouldn’t want in your own.
(Footnote: Try a pinky finger, it’s kinda awesome.)

Six: When you go down on her—and you will go down on her, and if you are my son, you will be amazing at it—tell her how good she tastes. Stop in the middle and kiss her deeply so she knows how good she tastes. Do the same when she goes down on you.

Seven: A simple Google search will yield 1,327 euphemisms for male masturbation, yet only 23 for female masturbation. If guys spent less time jacking off and more time jilling off, this world would be a happier place.

Eight: Everything you need to know about the importance of the clitoris is in the movie Star Wars. You are Luke Skywalker piloting your penis-shaped X-Wing Fighter deep inside her trench. Remember: seventy percent of all Death Stars cannot be blown up through penetration of the trench alone. It must be through focused contact with that little exhaust port at the top of the trench. Otherwise, any explosions you experience will be merely Hollywood special effects.

Nine: Just because you come doesn’t mean she has, so don’t you dare come before her. Focus completely on your partner. Don’t worry about gettin’ yours, you’re a guy. You always get yours. Your job is to make sure she’s gettin’ hers.

Ten: If sex with your partner lasts no longer than this poem, you are not making love. You are masturbating with her body instead of your hand. Shame on you. Go back to step one. You’ve got a lot of learning to do.
Love, Dad.

Big Poppa E., “How To Make Love”  (via pihanga)

wackyshenanigans:

i have never seen a post with a plot twist like this before

This is the exact mix of wonderful and awful parenting I expect most tumblr users will display in later life.

I need someone who
Sees the fire in my eyes and
wants to play with it.
Haiku by l.s.f. (via psych-facts)

dannicaboodle:

NO YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND THIS ANIME IS LIKE A CONSTANT STRING OF THE BEST JOKES I’VE EVER HEARD

neptunain:

christmas is so much worse as you get older it’s like “what do you want this year?” “a sense of purpose”